Athlete of the Week: Chris Matthews

Jackson Byron

By Drake Weissman

Today, I present to you the most astounding athlete from this past week. His name? Chris Matthews.

Lemme start you out with some fun facts:

  1. Chris Matthews is cousins with Reggie White.
  2. Chris Matthews was working in Foot Locker two months ago.
  3. Chris Matthews is the man.

Now, a quick bio:

Chris started his football days playing for his high school team in Long Beach, California. He attended Los Angeles Harbor College because he was “academically ineligible” to play Division I football. But, after a year of obliteration at LAHC, the NCAA realized the mistake they had made and Chris transferred to the Kentucky Wildcats where he had an impressive 9 touchdowns and 925 yards. But, the NFL didn’t want him. He went undrafted, got signed by the Cleveland Greens (LINK TO JOSH GORDON ARTICLE), and got cut; however, Chris was not defeated. Naturally, he took his talents to the Iowa Barnstormers of the Arena Football League where he again caught 9 touchdowns. Clearly not playing around anymore, Chris made the obvious switch to the Canadian Football League to play for none other than the Winnipeg Blue Bombers, where he won the Most Outstanding Rookie Award. After a turf toe injury, Chris was cut from the Blue Bombers and even his loved ones began to doubt if he would ever play again. But, one night, after finishing his shift at Foot Locker, he got the call from the Seattle Seahawks and, before you know it, he lined up as Steven Hauschka attempted a do-or-die onside kick in the NFC championship game on the biggest stage of his life. Without having ever touched the ball in the NFL, Chris made the recovery and the Seahawks went on to win the game.

So, that was two weeks ago. Who the frick cares anymore? He’ll probably just go back to sitting on the bench like the hundreds of players in the NFL who never see the field. That’s what they want you to think; Pete Carroll put his faith in Chris when no one else would. The result: 4 catches for 109 yards, two of them ridiculous. Watch for yourself and admire his tattoos and celebrations.

Never doubt this man.

4 responses to “Athlete of the Week: Chris Matthews

  1. You gave athlete of the week to a guy on the losing team? Why not Malcolm Butler or Tom Brady? They actually won the game!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *